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Chapter Six
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Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve

March 25, 2008

Jules,

Don't apologize for the delay, dear. I've been relatively busy myself, so I completely understand. I'm just glad that you eventually remembered your best friend. ;-)

I'm sorry about the morning sickness, and I would be reassuring, but it's going to get worse before it gets better, I'm afraid. Poor Howie spent countless hours in the bathroom with me while I worshipped the porcelain god, though, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Which brings me to my next point.

Nick.

Dear God, Jules. What is wrong with the boy? I can't believe he was cheating on you. In fact, I went over that one line in the letter multiple times just to see the word "cheating" associated with Nick. And the fact that he even tried to blame it on you surprises me immensely. I guess it just goes to show how much people can change over the years and under certain circumstances. I'm so sorry that he's been the way he has, but I've got my fingers crossed for the two of you yet. Maybe this is what he needs to bring him to his senses, Jules, but I'm proud of you for standing your ground and getting the hell out of that house. Don't back down to him until you're sure he's changed, sweetie. You're independent enough to take care of yourself, and I'm glad that you've courage enough to acknowledge it.

I am pleased to hear that he's doing the proper amount of groveling, though. My advice? See if he keeps it up. Nick is a very passionate person, Jules, and I'm sure you know that he's not going to let you go without a fight. Hopefully, if he doesn't stop fighting, it'll prove to both of you that you were made for each other. If he does stop fighting, then you're better off without him. Six months sounds like a good trial period to me. Exactly how much of those six months has passed now? I've got my fingers crossed that the remainder of the time is good to you both. No one deserves happiness more than you do.

You don't know the kind of smile you inspired by rooting out divorce as a primary possibility. That's the Jules I remember. I'm glad that you've chosen to hang in there, hon, and if you ever need anything, you know you can come to me. However, if a trip doesn't seem like a possibility, I can always be reached on my cell phone at 1-455-862-6166. Having children requires me to keep it up, running, and charged every hour of every day. Now that Little D and Laynie are back in preschool, there's no telling what kind of messes they'll be getting into. Rooster misses them during the day, but he's made friends with two turtles in our backyard. He keeps trying to tip them onto their backs so he can scoot them around. It's actually quite fun to watch when I'm in need of inspiration.

Spring break has come and gone for the first time, and Howie was kind enough to send us all on a trip down to the beaches of Ixtappa, Mexico. The Club Med resort had a place for kids, so the children had a blast playing with others their age. Howie and I, on the other hand, had many a romantic afternoon out by the water. He rented a boat one day, and we dropped anchor about a mile from shore and had a lovely picnic on deck. He's so cute like that. He even took the kids sailing one afternoon. Little D took three rolls of pictures because he kept seeing fish in the water and just HAD to have a way to "member the moment". Laynie, on the other hand, kept wanting to know why she couldn't swim with the fishies. Poor Howie had quite a time explaining that one. Laynie's very much a fish out of water. The child LOVES to swim.

The snow has melted down here, and spring is finally starting to surface. I was out in the garden with Howie just this morning, planting flowers and chasing Rooster away from the ant hills. Howie's such a dear in the garden. He jokes that it lowers his testosterone level every time he drops one of the caladium bulbs into the ground, but I know he enjoys the time outside. He's flying to New York tomorrow to produce one of his protégés, and he'll be there for a week. I'm already missing him.

I'm so glad to hear that you finally got a proper shower, but so sad to know that I wasn't able to be there. The next time I see you, Jules--and I WILL see you--we're going to have a huge celebration. Especially after that sonogram picture that I saw. You think you had a difficult time with Nick. Try explaining to your husband why you have a sonogram picture taped to the refrigerator! My excuse? The kids are just now learning where babies come from, so I thought I'd give them a visual. Poor Howie turned beet red at that one. He can be sexy as hell, but he still gets embarrassed when someone brings up the subject of anything sexual.

Nice to know you haven't changed that way. ;-) Yes, the sex drive does get worse during pregnancy. Are you sure you don't want to find Nick? Or maybe you could find a Swedish producer for yourself, right? Eye for an eye?

Oh, that was evil. I didn't say that.

I'm glad to hear that you're singing to the baby. Do you still have your old guitar, Jules? I shouldn't ask, because I can't exactly picture you without it. We all had so many dreams five years ago. I'm writing now, just as I promised myself I would, but...I wonder how many others actually did what they wanted to do. I just hope that you're still playing, and I'm glad to hear that you're still singing. That's a part of you that makes you who you are in my eyes.

You now have my phone number, so you can give it to Leighanne and the girls. And do not tease me about old age, dear...you're not so young yourself. ;-) Just kidding...but I like to think that we've aged gracefully, you know? I know my husband has. And, despite the fact that Nick's dick is bigger than his brain more often than not, I'm sure he's just as gorgeous as he used to be.

I can't believe so much has changed in what used to be the Backstreet camp. It makes me curious to know what else is different. I keep telling myself that it's none of my business and finding out wouldn't be easy, butyou know me. None of it ever stopped me before. It might do us all some good to re-form the lines of communication that we snipped so long ago.

The kids are lovely, aren't they? I'm so proud of them, Jules. Laynie's learning to read, did I tell you that? She brought one of my stories to me the other day and started reciting the words. She's growing up so fastI just can't believe it. She stunned Howie into silence when she told him that one of his songs was pretty before he'd even sung the words aloud. She can't read all the words, mind you, but she's quite the intuitive little girl. As I write this, she's helping her Daddy pack for his trip to New York and wondering why she can't go with him. She'll be a woman of the world some day, I think.

Little D is going to be a man of many women, though. I can tell already. The little girls in his class are already having their parents call to see if "Davie" can play. It's kind of cute. Or it would be if he weren't so young. And you know Howie. He's encouraging him!

Anyway, I should let you go before this letter gets any longer and before Howie asks me to help him fold clothes. Man of domestication he is not when it comes to laundry. *laughs* I do love him, though. I love you too, girl, and that phone call may arrive once Howie heads out. Then we'll actually have time to talk. In the meantime, though, take care of yourself and the baby. Pictures of the snowman family are enclosed for your enjoyment. Note the way that Rooster keeps eying the carrot noses, would you? Right after the picture, he bit both of them off and ran behind the bench to eat them. Silly puppy.

My prayers are with you, Jules. Hang in there.

All my love,
Emma