January 28, 2008
OH. MY. GOD. You made me the happiest woman alive when
I got your letter. I tore it open faster than one of those Publisher Clearing House "You've Just Been Chosen as One Of Our
$10,000,000 winners!" Yes, I'm still that gullible and yes, I know I could do without that 10 million. Obviously, the over
10 million I've got now isn't making me happy. Oooh, I can buy state-of-the-art baby stuff. Big whoop. I need a state-of-the-art
Recognize today's date? Yup, the blonde one himself has turned 28. But yet, he has the brain of an eight year
old and I'm giving him a TON of credit for that one. Can you tell I'm being bitter? I wasn't sure if I was being noticeable
enough about it.
As you can tell, he did NOT taking my news of pregnancy well. The bastard actually accused me of getting
pregnant so that he would have to stay home and take care of me. I told him to go to hell because I could take care of my
own damn self. I told him I'd been just fine when he was gone and I'd be just fine if I never saw him again.
Gah, Emma!! Why can't he be like Howie?! Ever since the BSB broke
up, Nick's turned into this bitter cruel person. He's not the person that I married. I am getting so fed up with it and the
fights are getting worse. Em, he almost hit me the other night. I slapped him after the accusation that I got pregnant to
keep him around and he raised his hand at me. I told him that if he dared to hit me, I'd have his ass in jail and I'd be all
over the news telling people what a fucking asshole he was.
I'm getting to the point where I just want to give up.
Last night, when we paused in the midst of our huge fight, I glanced up into Nick's eyes and I didn't see it anymore. You
know the "it" I'm talking about.
That loving "I can't live without you and you're the best thing that ever happened
to me and I'll be damned if I ever take advantage of you" look. The twinkling of his eyes that I saw on our wedding day when
we exchanging vows. Why, oh why, do guys change after you marry them? Nick says that I've become the nagging housewife, but
my god, everyone knows I'm not. I'm just concerned.
It's like I was destined for this. My great-grandmother was divorced,
my grandmother divorced, my mom divorced TWICE, and it's starting to look like it's my turn. It doesn't seem like any of the
Tidmans are destined to have long, happy, fulfilling, and successful marriages.
Awww...I bet Howie took it harder than
the rest of the guys. He really seems to internalize things more than the others. He really loved being in that group with
all those guys. Nick's just become the angry, sullen person that he was before I met him. I helped him through that but he's
not letting me in at all anymore.
In case you didn't notice, I just let out a really huge exhaustive sigh. You're
probably hearing it now and wondering what the hell that noise is but you'll know it when you get this letter...ha ha.
YOU on running off the mother-in-law!! I love Mrs. Dorough (both of them...but I love you more...ha ha) to death but MAN,
I think she'd shove Howie back in her uterus if she could. The woman is insane when it comes to that boy. So, is she spoiling
the grandbabies rotten?
Speaking of grandbabies, YOU HAVE TWO!! Well, two kids...ha ha. I know this world is fucked
up now but I'll be damned if your kids are having kids already. I could strangle Nick for not giving me that announcement.
Oooh, let's not talk about him anymore.
I want pictures, girl! Aww...maybe when mine is born and old enough to play
with other kids, we can introduce our kids to each other, even though yours are a slight bit older than mine. I'll be lucky
if I last through this pregnancy because of all this stress. One of these days when Nick's off on tour, I need to sneak off
and meet you at the mall in Orlando or something. I cannot shop for baby clothes and stuff without you. That's what best friends
are for and you are most definitely that. We went strong for four years before the BSB breakup and even after five years apart,
I know nothing could ever tear us apart.
I actually got a phone call from Leighanne a couple of weeks ago, speaking
of losing eight best friends in one day. She's pregnant again too. She said she tried to get in contact with you but you and
Howie had moved and she was afraid to ask Brian. We didn't get to talk long because she called me while he was out with Baylee
at baseball practice. She told me that he's just relaxing around the house and helping Baylee master the skills of basketball
and baseball. Bad news is that it seems Baylee has inherited Brian's heart problems. It's nowhere near as life-threatening
as Brian's but the doctors are keeping him under constant observation. Poor kid's gotten have surgery sometime soon. Brian
is especially upset about that. Leighanne's taking it a little better but she's worried like a
normal mother would be.
Oh yeah! Speaking of divorces, Kev and Kristin split up. Kristin is remarried too but Leighanne didn't get to go into
details. She just said that Kev lost it after the incident at the wedding, got severely depressed, and she feared her own
safety, as much as she wanted to be there for him. He's in therapy now and they're friends but she said that she just sees
no reconciliation with him. Besides, she's really in love with the new hubby. Has kids and everything.
And as for Sarah and A.J., they made it. They finally got married
last year. A.J. started drinking again and became addicted to sleeping pills after the break-up so he readmitted himself to
rehab, cleaned himself up, and they got married. Leighanne said she thinks Sarah might have a bun in the oven herself...ha
ha. We're all becoming pregnant at once, except you. You just HAD to be the first one. Can't let anyone else be first...ha
Well, mom's outside honking the horn. It's time for my 6-week checkup even though I've only know
about my pregnancy for two weeks. Mom figures if Nick won't be here to help that she'll do what she can. Good ole Mom. She's
got your mentality too. She told me that she will make Nick hurt more than a Max Martin song hurts her whenever she hears
it. I love that woman. She's phat. Phat to death. Man. Ha ha...remember when Bri & Kev used to do that? Hmm...I miss them.
I miss everything. I miss Nick. I miss you most of all. Feel free to call my cell phone, girl! I just got it yesterday. Nick
won't have anything to do with that phone because I'm paying for it. My number is 1-813-547-8931. Call me whenever!! I love
you, girl! Write me back soon. Can you believe that even with the e-mail technology out now that we're writing snail mail?
Shows what dinosaurs we are...or maybe that you are...ha ha. Talk to you later.